After a breakup, when an ex had access
If an ex knew your passcode or shared your accounts, these steps help you take your phone and photos back, one at a time.
It is over, and somewhere in the middle of everything else you think: they still know my passcode. They might still see my location. Our shared album is still sending them photos.
You can untangle all of it, and you do not have to do it tonight. Each step helps on its own.
If an ex is threatening, stalking or controlling you, changing everything at once may alert them. Talk to an advocate about a safety plan first, ideally from a device they have never touched. In the US, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788 (thehotline.org). Elsewhere, contact local domestic violence services. This is general information, not legal advice.
Tonight, if you only do three things
- Change your phone passcode to one they never saw, and remove any face or fingerprint they may have added. On iPhone, check Face ID for an alternate appearance.
- Stop location sharing. Check Find My on iPhone and location sharing in Google Maps, plus any other app you used together.
- Change your Apple Account or Google account password, then look at the list of signed-in devices and remove anything that is theirs or that you do not recognize.
This week
Work through email and social accounts, turning on two-factor authentication as you go. Leave shared albums, shared photo libraries and Google Photos partner sharing, which otherwise keep sending new pictures their way. If you were in an Apple or Google family group together, leaving it changes what they can see and manage. Our guide on family sharing and photo exposure shows where each of these lives.
If they had your phone for long stretches, think about whether they could have installed something or changed settings. If the phone feels off, a backup and a full reset is a clean start.
Later, when you are ready
Photos from the relationship can wait. Some people delete, some keep everything, many move a few out of sight so they do not appear in Memories. A hidden album or locked folder is fine for that. A vault with no account, such as VaultWell when it is released, means there is no login an ex could know or reset.
If an ex threatens to share intimate images, you are not alone and there is help. StopNCII.org can help stop images being posted on participating platforms, and our guide on keeping intimate photos safer covers next steps.